CHECK & BALANCE

I am so sure that I do more before 9 a.m. than most people do all day! I am up at 5:00 a.m. to enjoy a hot cup of java in a pretty pink mug and my Daily Devotion, which consist of reading the bible and prayer. My workout usually starts at 6:00 a.m. and generally last for an hour (add 15 min on conditioning days). After my workout, I prepare breakfast for my children and make sure they get their day started off right! Once they are taken care of I clean up my house. I start in the kitchen with dishes, sweeping and mopping. I usually put a load of clothes in the washer before my workout so when I return its time to put them in the dryer. My bedroom has to be nice before I leave, which means I make up my bed, no clutter on top of the night stands, floor vacuumed, and fragrant deodorizer filling the air! The master bathroom is cleaned up as well after I have showered and groomed for my day! When I finally walk out of the door to head to work, I am all smiles thinking about my husband returning home from a long night of work, to a clean, inviting, fresh smelling house! I imagine him seeing me as a very valuable commodity because I AM THE TOTAL PACKAGE! It seems the work of a good wife is never done and well into the evening I will be doing a whole list of things that I have accepted as my responsibility as a good wife and mother. My husband doesn't put any demands on me! In fact, he helps me in so many ways and begs me to rest. I can't rest when things are dirty or out of order. I complain often about "ALL THE STUFF I HAVE TO DO". I am a drama queen and I like the desired effect I get when I use words like "Slaving over this hot stove" (hehehe*). The truth is that I enjoy doing housework. It's my way of saying I LOVE YOU! Its also my way of SHINING! I pride myself on keeping a clean and orderly house even though I work outside of the home! That's one of the many gifts and talents I bring to the marriage table! Not only am I a loving companion that has it going on in the bedroom, I also am an efficient home maker! I can cook a meal that makes my husbands toes curl! I prepare home cooked meals a minimum of 3 times a week! The other days I am responsible for making sure the family eats healthy, even though we eat out! Can you see where I am going with all this? In a marriage there are very specific roles that each spouse has to play! Your gifts and talents are to be used to better your home life! Believe me when I tell you that my husband does his share around the house. The things I hate doing like trash detail (YUCK) and fixing everything that breaks down. If it needs a tool, hammer, or nail put to it - my husband is on the job! We have a check and balance in our family that works perfect for our lifestyle! What each person is expected to present as their duty for the betterment of the marriage must be established between the couple! Check and balance is simply knowing what it takes from day to day to make your home life run smoothly and who's job it is to do what task!

Without check and balance things can get out of order really quick. There must be clear lines of communication drawn. List wrote out and sometimes schedules to follow to ensure both the husband and the wife are receiving all they assumed marriage would bring. Don't speculate that your spouse should know what things you expect of them! Take the time on a regular basis to talk to each other about what you need, and what you are willing to give, to have your home life just as you had hoped it would be. It will definitely take the both of you doing your part to have check and balance work correctly! No one party should ever feel overwhelmed or under appreciated! Do I feel that minor things like household chores and who does what can be a dividing mechanism in a marriage? Yes!!!! Arguments over cleanliness and who will or wont do the dishes, have broken up many a happy home! I suggest you formulate a plan so there is no room for error! A check and balance will ensure that what is expected is clear and agreed upon by both parties! You wouldn't want your spouse apprehensive about coming home because they know its a hot mess!

Chores should be divided according to work schedules and natural abilities. You would not want to assign the cooking to the spouse that can't boil water! It would not be wise to volunteer to run errands when you work nights and usually are sleep during normal business hours! The important thing to remember is that you should always support one another! Lend a helping hand when it is possible to do so! If you need something from your spouse that they are not contributing.... COMMUNICATE! Do your part to pitch in around the house and make your home life EXACTLY what you two have dreamed it would be! Ask, suggest, and politely delegate, to ensure a happily married check and balance! Not too many things on her and equal shared responsibility on him. With both parties tuned into each others likes and dislikes! Check and balance means asking your spouse from time to time if they are still happy with the current arrangements! Check and balance means being flexible enough to change and adapt for peace sake! The two spouses becoming one can be difficult if your living arrangements are tense because of different standards of cleanliness. Check and balance is a safety net and if you use this system you can dwell together in unity O.K.?? O.K.!!