Happily Married Wifey

Women and men think nothing alike. Total opposites in the way we process our feelings, emotions, and thoughts. Together, as a happily married team, we make total and complete sense. Divided and not effectively communicating adds up to be TOTAL CONFUSION! Good communication is a must between spouses. I know when husbands read that line they get a headache. They hear us say "Lets talk about it" and instantly go on the defense. Especially if the wifey is the nagging and complaining type (None of my readers are ~ SMILE). I would like to provide some suggestions that will have you effectively communicating with one another in no time without the tension, drama, or anxiety. It has been my experience that by the time one of the married parties is asking, "Can we talk?", there is already an issue at hand. This is a big part of the problem. Heart to heart conversations are not just for conflict resolution. Learn to talk more in general about minor, minuscule, and mundane ...

How well do you know your spouse? I'm not talking about surface stuff like their favorite food or favorite movie (You should know those by the second date ><  Wink). I am asking you how well do you know your spouse on a deep level? A happily married couple should be so close that you know what the other one is thinking before they have a chance to speak! You should know when your mate is hurting before they shed one tear! A connection that deep is possible. The two of you are suppose to be one in the same! We need to be tending to our mate's needs as if they were our own! So in tune with each others feelings that eye contact can transmit a thousand words! How do you get your relationship to that level? I am so glad you asked that question. You have to see with your heart, not with your eyes! You have to listen with your heart also. A happily married couple learns how to dwell together according to knowledge (know-how; The knowledge and skill required to do something co...

I am so sure that I do more before 9 a.m. than most people do all day! I am up at 5:00 a.m. to enjoy a hot cup of java in a pretty pink mug and my Daily Devotion, which consist of reading the bible and prayer. My workout usually starts at 6:00 a.m. and generally last for an hour (add 15 min on conditioning days). After my workout, I prepare breakfast for my children and make sure they get their day started off right! Once they are taken care of I clean up my house. I start in the kitchen with dishes, sweeping and mopping. I usually put a load of clothes in the washer before my workout so when I return its time to put them in the dryer. My bedroom has to be nice before I leave, which means I make up my bed, no clutter on top of the night stands, floor vacuumed, and fragrant deodorizer filling the air! The master bathroom is cleaned up as well after I have showered and groomed for my day! When I finally walk out of the door to head to work, I am all smiles thinking about my husband r...

I hate to be the one to tell you that there is definitely an order to marriage. Established from the first documented couple, Adam and Eve. The Husband is the head of the household and the wife is SECOND in command. Should I repeat it or was it plain enough? First the man then the woman. If we can find our way back to order, things can flow so much better! Husbands as the leader and wives happily submitting to their spouse. I know that most ladies have a problem with that statement so I am prepared to explain myself in detail. By the time you finish reading this blog there should be no harsh feelings, no misunderstandings, and you might even have a change of heart (I HOPE-HEHEHE) concerning the word submit ! I say that man is the head simply because of the order of creation. I believe that man was created first for a significant purpose! Man and woman could have been created at the same time, but they were not. Woman was created from man and even named by him. If we can agree on the ...

We have talked about many different things over the course of a few weeks and I hope you have been enjoying the blog! Writing your life experiences for the whole world to read is quite intimidating but, if it helps just one couple get their relationship on the HAPPILY MARRIED TRACK, its worth being transparent. I will always tell you what I know to be true and not something I've heard! Fiction is cute however, when it come to trying to keep a marriage happy, we live in a real world with real challenges and we have no time for make believe! In 2016 the idea of marriage is becoming more popular. Monogamy and fidelity don't seem to be as "Taboo" as just five years ago. Although times are changing, marriage doesn't have the same moral standard today as it did when our grandparents were tying the knot. Now more than ever, it is very important to surround yourself with like minded people for support and understanding! Make no mistakes about it, friends who don't res...

Twenty-one years is a long time to be married (To be anything for that matter) and I can truly say that my husband and I are in a REALLY GOOD PLACE right now ! Marriage, just like everything else on earth, goes through seasons and changes. I would be lying if I tried to insinuate that every day as a married person is WONDERFUL. There are days that your spouse will get on your last nerve. You will argue and have disagreements, this is normal and there is no need to panic! EVERY MARRIAGE GOES THROUGH IT! YOU ARE NOT ALONE! No big deal, roll with the tide! The important thing to learn early on is that you are in control of the climate in your marriage. You control the seasons with your emotion and ego. Too much or too little of either, sets the temperature of your union! We cannot change our mates into robots that do as we wish! Your spouse is a real person with their own issues and bad habits. Learn to adjust your need to always be in control and allow room for errors and growth. You...

Tell yourself all day-everyday that you are married to your soul mate. You should really feel that way and the more you say it, you should be even more convinced that this is true! You made a choice, and your choice was literally CREATED JUST FOR YOU! Your spouse should complete you! This is not crazy talk this is HAPPILY MARRIED TALK! Who cares if you are the only one among your peers who dares to express how much love you have for your mate? You go home to SUNSHINE every day and if they had a wife or husband half as caring as yours, they would be telling the world about it too! Be comfortable with how you love and don't be ashamed of the degree that you love! Marriage is sacred and it takes some spiritual thinking to stay committed! There will always be somebody prettier than your wife, but they can never be what she is to you! Beauty is only skin deep. Your wife prays for you while you sleep! She knows (and understands) how you think and loves you when you are unlovable! The w...

Do you and your spouse have a date night? What about a favorite coffee shop you frequent for mid-day rendezvous? Do you have a hobby that you enjoy doing together? How many days a week would you say you both devote to shutting out the world and making a LOVE Connection? If you are serious about having a happy marriage, these are questions you must ask yourself and prioritize your life so that LOVE has a place in that hectic schedule. Many years ago, I was watching an Oprah episode, and some expert doctor was giving the statistics on how many nights a week the average couple had sex. I secretly counted my own in my head and realized - I needed to add another day because I didn't want anything about my marriage to be average [You feel me?]! The doctor went on to say that most couples don't really take the necessary time to connect, and her homework assignment was to start passionately kissing daily. The kiss was to last at least 40 seconds (it was so long ago but, I think it wa...

When someone at the grocery store is standing in your way, you politely ask them to "P lease allow you to pass" or you even say "E xcuse me " as if you were the one blocking them. So why is it when you are addressing your spouse, you sometimes use an irritated tone of voice? Your posture might have become aggressive when dealing with your mate and you may not even be aware of it. You would never yell at a co-worker (for fear of how CRAZY/inappropriate you would appear to others) or cause a big scene at the water cooler. Why do you feel it is okay to be loud and boisterous with your spouse? If anyone deserves your respect, your mate does! The common courtesy you would give to any stranger on the street is the same decency you should show the very one you are married to boo! You will always catch more bees with honey. A gentle word turns away wrath. The way to get your husband to take out the trash (even if you have asked him a thousand times) is by first explain...

This morning I got dropped off at work by my husband (whom I affectionately call BIG DADDY). It was nice to have that time to talk and hold hands during the drive. It reminded me of earlier times when we had one car and had to make do. Life was simple then, but it was GOOD! I know that remembering how far your relationship has come over the years is one way to evoke feelings of gratitude.  I suggest you sit down with a pen and paper and just write down some wonderful memories that you have about the earlier years of your marriage. Remember the dates you use to go on before you had children? Remember the time you tried to wash his white clothes and turned them pink because you accidentally got a red sock in the load? Remember your first apartment you shared and the many meals you prepared (that he ate even when you knew it wasn't very good)? Remember the look on his face the very first time he held each of your children at birth? Can you remember your first big fight? Now, remember ...

23 years ago on June 12, 1993, my husband and I got married. 21 years old the both of us were and we knew very little about the level of commitment this relationship would require. We both came from single family homes, raised by our mothers, and we didn't really have many examples of happy/healthy marriages in our lives at that time. One thing we did have was an amazing love for one another and a desire to give to our children something we felt we never had, A LOVING TWO PARENT HOME . We didn't enter into our marriage thinking that if this doesn't work, we can just get out of it. We both agreed that WE WOULD MAKE THIS WORK AT ALL COST! LEAVING WAS NEVER AN OPTION. The reassurance of that promise takes so much stress off of a relationship. The fear of rejection or abandonment is taken out of the equation early on and that is a great start to Happy Marriage. Knowing that your spouse won't leave you, gives you permission to express your feelings freely. If you agree...